I’m out at my ride site, sitting in the back of the medic unit as we cover the district for another unit. The local rock station is playing Alice in Chains. I can hear it from the front seat. It’s a hot day but the air conditioning is on and I’ve got a fresh, ice cold bottle of water. Life is good.

Sort of.

My preceptor and I just finished a nasty multisystem trauma call. An MVA that required we RSI the patient. And… I missed the tube. I felt like the call was a Charlie Foxtrot. My preceptor, on the other hand, thought it was a smooth call. She said, “you did a great job and so what. You missed a tube.” However, she did tell me that I need to be more assertive in leading the scene. It’s tough for me to do, but I’m working on it. Walking the line between “confident” and “cocky” is hard to do. It seems like I either don’t speak up enough, or I piss someone off. It’s hard to balance.

Only 16 more hours left on this shift. Lots of stuff to work on.