This is random…

Well, let’s see… there’s lot of stuff going on, but nothing stupendous. There hasn’t been one specific item worthy of a blog post, so here’s a few random thoughts…

…and even though this may sound negative, it’s really not. It’s just a look at some of the goofy stuff that happens on shift.

I recently took a few folks who experienced a traumatic event to the ED. One was a motorcyclist who connected with a Jersey barrier at a high rate of speed. He was placed in C-spine precautions and his lower extremity FX was splinted. Aside from a huge amount of road rash, he had no other injury. Claire and I whipped out our handy-dandy trauma shears, cut all his clothes off and delivered him to the ED. On arrival the nurse looked at me and said, “Why is he naked?”

Then, shortly after, we took a guy who was struck by a bottle in an assault to a different hospital. No LOC, no other injury. Just smacked with a bottle. No pain other than the lead lac. Bleeding controlled. We deliver him to the ED and the RN asks me, “Why isn’t he trauma stripped?”

I can’t win.

I had the pleasure of showing up at an ED that was on divert with an assault patient. This particular ED does NOT want a call prior to arrival. Instead, EMS just shows up like an unwelcome house guest at dinner time. On normal nights thay just want us to roll in and give report at the triage desk. however, our dispatcher failed let us know the ED was on saturation divert, so I had to feel the full wrath of the highly pissed Charge. That was fun. Not.

Over the last few shifts we had a higher number than usual of patients with VERY minor complaints use us as a taxi, while the husband/wife/mother/father/significant other followed behind in the car.
I said to one system abuser patient, “It will be cheaper if you don’t go in the ambulance. You’re fine to ride to the hospital in the car with your mother.”
Patient replied, “No, that’s OK. I’ve got medical coupons.”
“Get in the truck.”

I bought a mop to keep at our quarters to mop out our rig, as the company won’t supply us with one for some reason. Strange. New ambulances, but no mop. And our HEAR radio STILL doesn’t work.

I’ve had to practice several instances of “CYA backboarding”. Most recently a the scene of a VERY low speed MVA. When I say low speed, I mean less than 5mph. Absolutely no mechanism. I couldn’t even tell which cars were in the accident and which belonged to the throng of bystanders. Everyone was out of the cars. They tell us on the radio that one 24 year old kid is c/o of back pain. The kid that’s out, walking around, on his cell phone, smoking a cigarette.
That kid.
When we roll up the fire guys say, “We just need your bed. This guy has back pain.”
“Oh no,” I reply. “Back pain following an MVA gets a C-Collar and LSB.”
The fire guys argue with me. “Really? Are you sure?”
I can’t believe they are questioning that fact that a MVA patient needs to go on a board if he says the magic words, “I HAVE BACK PAIN.”
So, standing take down, board, collar, tape, head bed… loaded.
The Fire LT takes me aside and says, “What a waste of time. He doesn’t need to go on a board.”
I agree, but point out the 25 people standing around with cell phone cameras snapping pictures. Might be a good idea to follow the protocol, huh? I also remind him that the Trauma Doc expects all patients in MVAs to be on a board until they clear them off. Oh yeah, one last thing LT, my name is on that run form and while we all know the kid doesn’t need to be on a board, he’s going to be on it ’til he’s cleared in the ED.

Oh yeah, it turns out his back pain was from a fall off a ladder a few weeks ago.

We had a nice instance of fake seizures. Fire got on scene and the EMT freaked out and called for an engine company and medics! Seriously? It was evident that the patient was faking when I read her BGL level to the medic. When I said “It’s 299,” she stooped flopping around and said “Huh?” while she looked at the glucometer. The she continued the fake seizure bullshit all the way to the ED. “Ma’am, please stop seizing so hard. You’re going to fall off the stretcher.” It was amazing how she mellowed out.

I changed the lyric to Tom Petty’s “Runnin’ Down a Dream” while we were en route to a call. It was playing on the radio and I was singing along… “Goin’ to a Rectal Bleed…”

One local ED RN gave us ice cream sandwiches on a very hot day. That was nice.

It’s the small things, ya know?

More soon. Medic 7, out.